There are limits

I think it was simply all around a bad day.

I wanted to cry, I nearly did. I felt ill, and the group dynamics just weren’t the same as they’d been yesterday. There was – or at least, I felt as if there was – a push to do something provocative. A want to be provocative – just for the sake of being provocative. Just because we could.

And I disagree.

Frankly, I think that when dealing with extremely sensitive subjects such as rape, we have no right to dabble with the emotions of the audience, no real reason to want to create a ‘shock’.

To make them think, yes. But there’s no need for such a ‘shock’ factor of vulgarity to trigger such thought – it can be expanded in many different ways.

They want to raise awareness. Yet everyone knows.

Who do we think we are to be permitted – able – to dabble and play with situations that for some people are all too real and vivid nightmares? We live incredibly sheltered, lucky lives – we have no right to make a mockery of such a serious situation.
And a mockery we would make of it – we’d come across as ignorant, stupid children playing with something they do not understand. The complexities of such situations, reading about them, and the emotional impact can only be glimpsed. But we cannot portray it in full. I cannot.

You see, when an actor plays a character far out of their depth, what do they rely on? The script. Trusting that the author knew their topic. (One of the most common threads of advice given to a writer is write what you know.) Yet we’re writing the script – I am, with Jed.

I can’t do that right. I won’t do the subject justice.

And I know I’m not a good enough actress to act it out either.

I’m frustrated, tired. I think everyone is really. The entire IPP is becoming dark and morbid without respite, and just talking about it I feel my innards twisting and clenching in sadness – for the characters story and the image portrayed of humanity.

There’s so much more to life than just death – why is it so hard to put that across?

It’s as horrid and twisted as an Ancient Greek Tragedy – or something Maupassant would have written.

I am not against a dark play – not at all. Done well, they leave a deeper message, and scenes of pain and grief are easier to act because – as Jed put it – pain, grief, sadness ad death are universal. But to have sad, you must have happy first. Sad to sad through sad doesn’t make the same impression as happy to sad with happy and sad moments intermixed. That’s more realistic – the good and the bad. To end in a tragedy a life that you can identify and draw some parallels with on this most basic level of good and bad moments will have more of an impact than a constantly dark situation – the audience will get bored, and think what an awful situation, but no one’s life is a constant dark.

Some people think of theater as having no limits – a place where you can do whatever you want. Yet to me, the actor and particularly director and playwright have only gained the right to be doubly careful what they portray. Yes, they are allowed to push boundaries – but only for a reason.
And there are certain things at are age that we are not yet equipped to face and deal with. We don’t have the experience or the expertise required. There are limits, and certain aspects we have neither right nor capabilities to properly address.