It's all changed.
No, it's evolving, which I guess is a good thing.
I feel as though it's too long - we need to cut down, and make it more concise. There's too much.. empty space.
I still hate the topic. We have no right..
I'm too .. tired to write anything remotely coherent, unfortunately.
Rehearsals are getting harder. I don't want to do this anymore. The others seem excited to provoke, unafraid of backlash - they want to push borders, ... but for what purpose? To what end goal? Just for the hell of it?
I don't understand them.
It's a painful topic, and they seem to be able to just gloss the surface of emotions, and I .. can't.
For many different reasons, I can't just detach myself from the performance - can't detach myself from the scene.
I mix, blend. I am the character, the character is me. We're angry, confused, scared. But I'm more emotionally involved than my character.
She wasn't named. A nameless stranger to the victim, a random person from society.
And yet, partially me.
I guess that's my fault as I wrote the lines for her - me - us.
But she is but a random stranger, not I. It's hard. Each time we're on stage frankly I want to cry. Scream and rage that we have no right to toy with such a topic, cry out in frustration and tears of torn and turbulent emotions raging through me I can no longer distinguish clearly into boxes. I'm so mixed up - I hate it. I hate the topic.
And yet that's not to say I hate our IPP - far from it. I think if we cut down the 1st part, add lighting, music, costumes, make-up and candles, we'll have something that's really quite powerful.
The text will need careful editing to make sure we're not crossing too many boundaries, and offending too many people .. but they seem to seek to provoke.
It makes me ill.
It's all a performance, something they know that society - the media rage - tells them to be all angry about and 'spread awareness' of the topic - but they're detached. They don't know. We don't know, understand. We have no right.
None
why? !
I mean, if done right I stand by my original stance, I think it'll be a great performance. . .
I just almost wish that i had no part in it.
Almost.
No, it's evolving, which I guess is a good thing.
I feel as though it's too long - we need to cut down, and make it more concise. There's too much.. empty space.
I still hate the topic. We have no right..
I'm too .. tired to write anything remotely coherent, unfortunately.
Rehearsals are getting harder. I don't want to do this anymore. The others seem excited to provoke, unafraid of backlash - they want to push borders, ... but for what purpose? To what end goal? Just for the hell of it?
I don't understand them.
It's a painful topic, and they seem to be able to just gloss the surface of emotions, and I .. can't.
For many different reasons, I can't just detach myself from the performance - can't detach myself from the scene.
I mix, blend. I am the character, the character is me. We're angry, confused, scared. But I'm more emotionally involved than my character.
She wasn't named. A nameless stranger to the victim, a random person from society.
And yet, partially me.
I guess that's my fault as I wrote the lines for her - me - us.
But she is but a random stranger, not I. It's hard. Each time we're on stage frankly I want to cry. Scream and rage that we have no right to toy with such a topic, cry out in frustration and tears of torn and turbulent emotions raging through me I can no longer distinguish clearly into boxes. I'm so mixed up - I hate it. I hate the topic.
And yet that's not to say I hate our IPP - far from it. I think if we cut down the 1st part, add lighting, music, costumes, make-up and candles, we'll have something that's really quite powerful.
The text will need careful editing to make sure we're not crossing too many boundaries, and offending too many people .. but they seem to seek to provoke.
It makes me ill.
It's all a performance, something they know that society - the media rage - tells them to be all angry about and 'spread awareness' of the topic - but they're detached. They don't know. We don't know, understand. We have no right.
None
why? !
I mean, if done right I stand by my original stance, I think it'll be a great performance. . .
I just almost wish that i had no part in it.
Almost.
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